When a national lockdown has completely killed your social life and even doing the groceries becomes a military operation, it’s tempting to hop onto the dating apps to get your love fix. But in this post, we look at why dating apps aren’t the only route to relationship success right now…
It’s no lie that covid is bringing depressingly few opportunities to bump into your dream partner by chance. But what if we use this time not to try to seek out that ideal lover via Hinge or Bumble, and instead take a look at what’s going on inside?
Our emotions are powerful drivers of our daily behaviours, so it’s worth taking a moment to really get in touch with them.
Why are you on the lookout for a new relationship? What part of yourself wants it so badly? Now is the time to tune into your deepest desires and make sure you’re acting from a place of self-worth rather than responding to the needs of your wounded, isolated or misunderstood ‘inner child’.
Because when you act from a place of self-love, and you know your worth, relationships become easier. Easier to find, easier to understand, easier to cultivate and easier to enjoy.
You know your value and you will not settle for less.
You start to attract peace and harmony in your day-to-day relationships, and above all else, you begin to understand what you truly need.
Here, we ask you to explore your own dating habits and consider what else this national quarantine can give us besides extra time to scroll on Tinder. Follow these five pointers to consider why dating apps aren’t the only route to relationship success right now…
1. Why are you drawn to dating apps in the first place?
Now is the time to explore your habits. How did they form? What is driving them? Do you behave much differently on the apps compared to IRL? How often do you use them, and what keeps you going back to them? What frustrates you about dating apps?
Grab a pen and a piece of paper and start writing! The process of answering these questions will help shed light on your base actions and what’s behind them.
2. Are you trying to get something from dating apps that they can’t give you?
Understand that apps can provide you with the opportunity to be in touch with lots of new people, but they can’t necessarily provide you with a genuine connection. After answering the questions in step one, you should be closer to figuring out your personal dating habits.
Study how you normally behave on dates and think back to situations so you can better determine how you’re holding yourself back from finding someone great.
If you have trouble reflecting on yourself, consider therapy or embarking on a self-love journey, which can help pinpoint the changes you can make to have the dating life you want.
3. Are your honouring yourself still?
Take a moment to check in to see if you are still able to honour your authentic self in the dating app setting. What are your true desires? What is your intuition telling you? Write a list of all the things you are looking for in your next partner – and what you deserve from a future relationship. Be specific. Be brave. Read it aloud.
4. How often do you give your power away on dating apps?
Are you able to stay in control and maintain respect for yourself and your boundaries? How does this spill over into the physical realm?
The main issue many women have with dating apps is around setting boundaries. It’s hard enough in IRL for a lot of people, but in the digital space it can be even more complicated. Know that you don’t have to wait until a line has been crossed before you clearly set out your boundaries and respectful limits.
Thankfully, this is a skill you can build up over time. But going from having no boundaries in IRL to navigating the world of dating apps can leave you vulnerable and exposed. Bare that in mind next time that guy you thought looked harmless and affable on Tinder drastically oversteps…
5. How can you use your lockdown time productively in the relationship space?
This time can be all about delving deep, doing the inner work, and taking a moment to start on your own personal journey – hopefully with LoaWellness.
For more than three years, we’ve been successfully helping women to recognise their self-worth, build self-love, recognise their boundaries, work through past pain and find ways to attract the relationship of their dreams.
We combine elements of psychology, yogic practices and transformational coaching to provide three tailored programmes for ambitious women looking to build a meaningful and blissful relationship.
These programmes help ensure access to deeper, more authentic relationships is within reach regardless of your past experiences, present responsibilities, time constraints or financial situation.
What’s more we are hosting a FREE 5-day deep dive adventure into love to set the tone for our first programme cycle of 2021.
Start yourself out on the right footing by joining us for five insightful days. Come and take stock, unblock barriers and move your love life to the blissful state you deserve.