Do you believe you can build the relationship of your dreams?
Or do you believe there is one person out there for you and you just haven’t them?
A Marie Clare article (2016) says the average woman finds her soulmate at the age of 25 (men at 28)
At first glance, this seems bleak for driven singletons in their 30s to 50s who focused their 20s building successful careers
This concept of finding ‘THAT ONE’ person to love has been prevalent for centuries in religion and mythology.
Even with the declining belief in mythology and religious affiliation (Sage Journals, 2016), the soulmate myth still shapes the modern-day dating culture.
Think dating apps and swiping through countless faces till you magically ‘find your match’ (fingers crossed!)
But what if we don’t have to rely on THAT ONE magical person to have the relationship we want?
What if to build the relationship of your dreams you only require four steps…okay maybe five!
1. Showing up as your authentic self
Firstly, you want to pay attention to the way you present yourself both consciously and subconsciously. This is especially true if your goal is to build a long-term commitment with another person.
Surprisingly, this is often easier said than done.
What makes it challenging is we get wrapped up in preconceived notions of what relationships SHOULD look and feel like.
These expectations often create blocks for potential relationships blossoming as they stop us forming authentic relationships as our authentic selves.
To show up as your authentic self in your love life means letting go of relationship expectations and perceived roles.
Just be you instead!
2. Be Intentional
Although many people go into relationships filled with expectations, an important aspect they ironically lack is intention.The thing is…
It is one thing knowing what you want out of your ideal relationship AND it is another thing ensuring all the actions you take are intentional and lead you towards your desired outcome.
Being intentional when it comes to love requires stripping away habits and behaviours which are not aligned with your desired outcome.
Once these are stripped away, create room to cultivate the behaviours and habits which are.
3. Vibrational Alignment
To have that great relationship we all dream about, you want to have mental, physical, emotional and spiritual (core values) compatibility with your partner.
Have you ever wondered why your love life seems to flip flop between two possible scenarios:
Passionate, intense fireworks and challenges, but the relationship seems unsustainable long term
Kind, caring and supportive, ready to settle down and a comfortable long term choice, but very minimal attraction and excitement
The issue with both scenarios is that the person you partnered up with had a low vibrating frequency in one of the elements. And guess what, the reason you chose to date them is because your elements are also out of alignment.
Therefore to improve your love life, you want to give great care to your mental, emotional, physical and spiritual wellbeing.
4. Unleash your deeper levels of communication
Although fourth on this list, communication plays an important role in building and sustaining relationships longer term.
Clients join the Loawellness transformational coaching service confident about their communication skills. Yet they leave the programme blown away by how much meaningful insight they gain into the practice of deep communication.
This is because many people are unaware that there are several layers to communicating, and many people only operate at the surface level.
Communicating on a deeper level means the ability to actively listen to what others say whilst withholding judgment or making assumptions. Additionally, it is about learning to communicate with intention to avoid misunderstanding and minimise conflict.
5. Invest in support
Short term, you could take these four steps and build the relationship of your dreams. Simply create a plan and write down steps to becoming more authentic, intentional, in alignment and a great communicator.
However, for deeper, longer term transformation, it helps to have the support of a relationship coach and mentor.
The biggest benefit support provides is accountability and honesty.
Right now there are realisations and honest conversations taking place in your head which wouldn’t have happened if you hadn’t read this article
This is because a true coach or mentor can hold up a mirror to you in moments when all you want to do is hide away from ACCOUNTABILITY or HONESTY.
Want to know more?
You can find out more about how to get the relationship of your dreams in my free masterclass The 5 Shifts to Attracting Your Higher Vibrational Love Match For The Relationship You Deserve
You can also hear from some of the gorgeous women we’ve worked with on the Client Love page