Social distancing, covid curfews, national lockdowns… it’s fair to say that, at first glance, things look pretty grim out there for singles seeking love. Yet we all still need to attract meaningful connections. So how do we negotiate dating during a global pandemic? And how do we cultivate success?
It’s an understatement to say that 2020 has been an unprecedented time for dating – both online and in real life. And, if you’re still scratching your head trying to figure out exactly how we got here, you’re not alone!
A YouGov poll from earlier this year revealed that 45 percent of Brits stopped in-person dating during the first national lockdown, while Tinder reported its highest number of swipes ever during the same period.
So, it follows that anxiety levels have again hit peak as lockdowns sweep across Europe, and you’re likely feeling that the chances of bumping into ‘the one’ during your daily routine is slimming to, well, around about zilch.
But all is not lost. If you’re currently single and are assuming that dating isn’t an option right now, think again.
You could be pleasantly surprised to hear that there may be a silver lining to all of this if you learn to use your time creatively. It may well be your opportunity to shine, and to try new approaches that could bring different results.
So, before calling it quits with dating, take a look at these following pointers…
Think about what you want to manifest
Use this time to ask yourself what you want to STOP attracting and what you want to START attracting. Before jumping onto the dating sites and apps, spend some time reflecting on your relationship patterns and what you would like to change. The first step to making a change is recognising there is a need for change.
Also, learn to take ownership. Manifesting your desires is all about owning your true intentions. If you become aware of patterns you want to change, take responsibility for them and ask for support if you need it.
Learn to be intentional
Dating during a global pandemic is just different. At the best of times, people often people base long-term decisions on short-term feelings. So, you might join a dating app just because you’re feeling lonely or bored. Now this is happening more than ever.
Chances are, in that mindset, you go for people who make you laugh or who respond to your messages quickly. But this doesn’t really give any indication of longer-term compatibility, or if this person is even on the same page as you.
Be selective with your time. You know that everyone is spending more time at home so you might notice they are more attentive on dating apps… but you don’t need to devote all your time to those apps too.
Another aspect of being intentional is to learn to recognise the qualities you admire in partners and the ones you’d rather avoid. This will help you attract and select the right kinds of people into your life.
Create and maintain boundaries
You may be tempted to chat through the night with a new connection you’ve made online. But you need to ask yourself if what you are giving this new person is sustainable in the longer term. The last thing you want to do is create habits that turn into expectations you can’t maintain.
Likewise, just because we are all more available online than ever, it doesn’t mean you need to be open and responsive all the time to every person that reaches out to you. Make sure you create space for yourself and give yourself time to breathe and reflect after the emotional charge of an online connection.
Stop comparing yourself to others
So, as we’re all aware, this pandemic, and all its restrictions, is forcing us to spend so much more time on social media… and that’s not necessarily healthy! Yes, we’re happy to keep in touch with friends and family but seeing ‘happy couples’ plastered constantly all over our feed can be more triggering at this time. Especially if we are feeling isolated.
Remember, other people appearing to be in ‘perfect’ relationships is no indication of YOUR own relationship ‘success’. Social media is a great tool for bringing us together but keep your eyes open because it exists in another dimension that is way more simplistic than real life!
Practice some self-care
Now is the perfect time to show yourself some self-love. Social commitments are down to a minimum, and you’re spending a lot more time indoors with fewer distractions.
How are you feeling? Check in on your emotions, paint a picture, write a poem. Compliment yourself, cook a fancy meal, dress up for a dinner for one, invest in yourself and your wellbeing. Be kind to yourself and let go of pressures and expectations – both external and internal.
This is your chance to ground yourself, to set intentions and to manifest those intentions. It can be a powerful moment for you to realign your deepest desires with your current lifestyle and relationship patterns. Use this lockdown to step into your more authentic self and it will follow that the romantic partners you begin to attract will become more in tune over time.
Don’t be afraid to seek out support if you need it
It’s more important than ever to maintain your support network and your social bubble. With time and patience, you can cultivate new ways of interacting with friends and family that may bring unexpected surprises, and support too.
Think about whether you want to reach out beyond your circle to get some extra support. Emotional wellness coaching is a powerful tool to help you manifest your goals and get more from life and your relationships. It can help you address your concerns around dating during a global pandemic too.
Find out more about emotional wellness and transformational coaching in my recent post What is transformational coaching? Everything you need to know.
Ready to give transformational coaching a try? Book your free breakthrough session with me today.